The notion of forgiveness is not a new topic, but I think it bears re-examining at this point. That's because it is the beginning of the year, and also we are being bombarded with all kinds of explanations and opportunities to blame others for the so called "economic meltdown" that is heralded by the media. There is very little information out there that asks any of us to take responsibility for what may have occurred; very little focus on our own greed that could have contributed to the tumultuous changes around us. Does anyone in the media talk about seriously dismantling the culture of entitlement that has mushroomed around us?

Before we go any further, I want to share with you several thoughts from one of my favorite books: That book is "Island," by Alduous Huxley. I read that book about twenty years ago, but I often refer back to several thoughts from that book. One of those that will be forever prominent in my consciousness is this: "Nothing short of everything will really do." That saying was uttered when the external world was seemingly caving in around the main characters. Another thought from that book is this: "Two thirds of man-kinds problems are self-created; the other one-third is part of being human." When I first read those thoughts, it had a profound impact on me: Imagine if it could be true that two-thirds of man's suffering is self-created, that means that theoretically two-thirds of man's suffering could be eliminated, if the right energy is employed. What is the right energy?

It could only be the kind of energy free of gossip, endless chatter, endless comparisons of what you have compared to others, gratitude, compassion...you get the picture.

What does all this have to do with forgiveness? Plenty. Let's say we succeed in eliminating much of that two-thirds of suffering that is manmade. Then what? Any self respecting student of higher consciousness would then want to tackle that pesky one-third of suffering that is inextricably linked to being human. You know what I mean: some of the attributes you "inherited" from your upbringing. Here's where a new use for forgiveness can really bear fruit. Just as it is a wonderful thing to project compassion and forgiveness on people who cross our path, try and consciously project that forgiveness on yourself for those things(that one-third) that are highly resistant to change, no matter what we do. Look at those things with love and forgiveness and think: OK this is the price of being human FOR ME. Many of us harbor all kinds of negative feelings about ourselves; we would never treat others as cruelly as we sometimes treat ourselves. Here is one way to dissipate that energy by zeroing in on what's really going on:

Practice forgiveness for yourself on being human.
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Happiness is that elusive thing that we all seem to be seeking. After all "the pursuit of happiness" is even mentioned in the American Constitution. So I guess that makes it positively Un-American to be unhappy, right? Think rah-rah cheerleaders!

But of course happiness, like other mind states, is not dictated by American or any other country's cultural imperatives. It just is, it just exists, and it seems that if you pursue it too fervently, it may vanish without proper explanation.

Here are some of the things I notice that either cause or are connected to "happiness:"

A phone call

Seeing your dreams come true

The end or beginning of something

Doing nothing

Being present

Eating our favorite foods

Making love (assuming it's good)

We all may associate different things with the onset of "happiness," but whatever brings it about, we sure don't like it when it's yanked away too soon. So the interesting question presents itself, which is: Can we be happy all or most of the time????

According to Buddhist philosophy, happiness exists simultaneously with unhappiness- the "two sides of the same coin" argument. If that is true, what is it that triggers the onset of happiness- that shift away from unhappiness? As usual, we can look to energy, in this case it is often positive energy thrust upon us that we absorb that pushes us away from the darkness of unhappiness to happiness. And the converse is true as well. If we become the "detached observer" of the events of our life, rather than the emotionally reactive participant, we can slowly over time view life's thrusts, whether previously labeled as good or bad, as just things happening around us; If we can maintain this attitude, we can find ourselves in touch with an underlying happiness and sense of ease that all is right with the world and that everything around us happens for a reason.

Be happy my friends.
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One thing that I think we can all agree on right now is that many people in this country lack a certain confidence in the "overall economy."

But what exactly is that thing called confidence, and can we restore it before its time; or before a certain cycle has run its course? This seems to be the burning question of the moment. And underlying this urgency to restore this confidence, this subjective something that supposedly has been snatched away from us seemingly overnight, is the reality that we are facing and how we are going to cope with it. In a sense, this is the second and in some ways more interesting question.

First things first: Confidence is one of those things like sex appeal, that not everyone has, and even when you have it, it is not guaranteed to last forever….lol. But what determines whether an individual, or an economy for that matter has a certain confidence? There are no easy answers. With individuals, confidence is often displayed by the smallest of intangible factors: How a person walks or moves, whether they are eager or reluctant to make eye contact, whether they actually listen to what another person is saying, how they respond under pressure or when cherished things are taken away. This last factor I think is most telling and it is something that, given the circumstances of today, we all might want to spend some time thinking about. How are each of us dealing with the reality we now face? Of course, everyone's daily life is quite different so the responses will vary tremendously.

When it comes to confidence in the economy, it is admittedly hard to hold on to previous notions of confidence when it seems that every day, another of America's institutions, whether banks or the auto industry is on the verge of collapse. There are definitely some strong signals out there and changes in the wind, but how can we really interpret what it means? Should we automatically lose confidence when these institutions are under siege, or is it just possible that what we are living through is a fundamental shift and reordering in line with how the world will operate in the future? Something to think about boys and girls, that is for sure.

I will leave you with a great Zen saying I came across about ten years ago at a time when my personal "economy" was undergoing some seismic changes: "Be your own confidence."
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The holidays are always a good time to test ourselves and see how far we have come in terms of "staying the course." Every get together with friends and particularly family members can be an amazing experience if we look at it that way. We might not like every member of our family and invariably there are those who push our buttons, but what a joy it is to just watch the drama instead of getting caught up in it.

There is no question that we absorb the energy of those around us, but when we are most centered and aware, we can watch that energy and consciously choose to react, or not to react at all. Of course, we would all like to absorb the good things that come from associating with people, and screen out the things we don't like. This is not just a difficult task, it is a daunting one, but the sincere efforts we make in this direction are the most important part even if our final goal takes quite a bit of time or eludes us entirely.

I had quite an interesting experience over the holidays: A few days before going to a relative's house for a celebration, I spent some time shooting pool with friends. When I arrived at the place where we normally shoot pool, my friends were not there yet, so I played several games of pool with a complete stranger. I love shooting pool but I don't do it that frequently, and I can't remember ever playing with someone who was so good. I'm not a bad player myself, but this guy was just great. In the first two games I barely got a chance to shoot because this guy rarely missed a shot! Instead of being upset, I carefully watched how he played and noticed several things: he had incredible focus and presence; it seemed that nothing was getting in the way of his concentration. Also, I noticed that he went for the most difficult shots first, which is counterintuitive for most people. I must have absorbed these lessons quickly because by the time the third or fourth game came around, I was shooting better. I won the fifth game against him.

Several days later I went to a relative's house who happened to have a pool table. As is customary with this person, we usually end up shooting at least half a dozen games of pool after dinner. This night was no exception, but the experience was a bit different. We are generally evenly matched at pool, but when I played him over the holidays, I beat him quite handily. He asked me after the third or fourth game, "what happened to you?" I told him I had played this really great player a few days ago- that was all. He didn't believe me and insisted that I must have taken a string of lessons to improve as much as he thought I had.

I thought about what my relative had said all the way home and how he just wouldn't believe how my pool game had gotten so much better: I had really absorbed that other player's energy and been able to use it when I played my relative.

Once again, I was reminded how powerful absorbing others' energies can be, for good and for bad.
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