Achieve Personal Growth and Development

Illusions and Delusions

2008-11-06T23:36:00.002-05:00

This is a very powerful time we are living through, with lots of passion unleashed due to the political, economic and social changes we see around us.

It's hard to go anywhere these days in the United States without being confronted by this. Whether you like it or not, people express their opinions on a wide variety of issues. I just came from the local bookstore to purchase some books, and there were two women at the cash register. One was processing my purchase of two novels, and she commented out loud that I was spending a total of about twenty nine dollars. The other woman, who worked in the store but was not otherwise involved in this transaction, interjected sarcastically : "Yah, that's just what Bush hopes will stimulate the economy."

Even though I am not a huge fan of the current president, I didn't see where I gave this woman express or tacit permission for her to inflict her political views on me. Yet I got them anyway, just because I was a living, breathing human being within earshot!

I realized on the way home that in the current political climate, some people are looking to the federal government to provide something (hope, change-who knows what else?) that is otherwise missing in their lives. I thought back to the presidents that we have had in this country over the last twenty years, and whether my life had really been influenced by who was the heads of state at the time. I concluded that for the most part, the seminal events that have shaped my life over the last twenty years had absolutely nothing to do with who was president, and had very little to do with the federal government. Most of these personal triumphs or crises were just events that would have occurred regardless of who was president or which party was in control.

We all have illusions about life and some delusions too. I think that maintaining a few of these makes for a refreshing character, because it is disheartening(at least for me) to meet people who are totally cynical. And as John Fowles (French Lieutenants Woman fame) said in his wonderful book "The Magus, " "cynicism masks an inability to cope."

Another thing I have noticed recently is how some people are unduly influenced by the media. I have one good friend who insists that the current economic turmoil automatically means that everyone will suffer and that the fallout will only be bad. Btw, she regularly watches CNN. I recognize the enormous changes going on, but I will never let CNN or any other news outlet control my life, economic or otherwise. Here are just a few of my own personal experiences that show that the fallout from the current changes are not all bad: A friend of mine who is likely to lose his job at Goldman Sachs confessed to me that he is secretly glad: it will free him to pursue his true love, which is not finance; Two acquaintances who have just lost their jobs in finance found love at a dinner party-if they were working they would never have had the time; an acquaintance I met on a plane recently confessed that his consulting company, with some government contracts, is doing better than ever. Another friend I know more than doubled his money in the stock market in four days when he bought a battered bank stock that was soon taken over. I recently went to a cash machine for Washington Mutual and was pleased to find that since Chase took them over, no fee to me for cash withdrawal. Did I mention the fact that we may soon see gas at Two dollars/gallon?

I am not suggesting that some of the changes we are experiencing are without pain. I am suggesting that it is a big mistake to think that everything that is being unleashed is bad.

Heal Yourself

2008-10-07T18:09:00.000-04:00

I recently read a novel that was so good that I want to recommend it to you guys. It's called "The Exception" by Christian Jungersen. Apart from the fact that it was an amazing thriller set in the Copenhagen Denmark(fictional)Office for Genocide Studies, the book really showed how seemingly "nice" people are capable of the most despicably cruel behavior when they are in the workplace.

This book resonated greatly with me, and not only because I witnessed this type of behavior first hand working as a lawyer in New York City. One of the main reasons that I wrote "Monergy,' was to try and share the information I acquired to make the workplace a saner and more nutritious place to be. While going through many challenging experiences as a lawyer, I never dreamed that these same experiences would lead me to the energy needed to change my life, to write a book, to create a blog and share this information with all of you.

In this blog post, I want to share some of the observations I have made on how the workplace has caused such unnecessary emotional suffering and yes actual physical illness; and I also want to suggest some ways to cope with all of this.

If there is anything I have learned about human beings and energy, it is this: we are like sponges in that we absorb whatever energy is around us; this is why we have to be so careful what and who we surround ourselves with. If you don't yet buy this, just think about that friend of yours(we all have them) who thinks he or she is stupid because that's what they were told their whole life: they are really some of the most intelligent people you or I have met. And remember this: as much as anyone tries, it is impossible to separate or compartmentalize your life so that your business life doesn't affect your personal life; energy cannot be limited like that.

When we are young and fresh out of school, we don't always think we can pick and choose our first job because the "energy feels right." More often than not, we have financial and personal constraints(family obligations, school loans, car loans, etc) that dictate our choices. So for most of us, at one time or another, we are going to be exposed to a brutal form of energy in the workplace that could and does wreak havoc with our minds and bodies. When we have these experiences, we absorb this energy with different effects on our emotional/physical bodies. As a result, a certain amount of pain accompanied by a variety of "dis-eases" may occur.

People talk about genetic pre-disposition to certain diseases: I don't buy it- I have a different take on things: I think that whether or not we actually develop a particular "dis-ease" is (of course based upon energy absorption), and is more a factor of affinity, proximity, and frequency of association. That means that the value system and energy of the people we are closest to at work and home could be getting us sick, and we may not be consciously aware of it at all. In fact, some people develop "sympathetic dis-eases" that mirror the dis-eases of those they are close to. Also, there is almost always a certain emotional disharmony or imbalance in which "dis-eases" flourish. I truly believe that if someone is extremely strong, emotionally balanced,, and most importantly very aware, even faced with a torrent of sustained unhealthy energy , dis-ease need not occur.

We now live in a society in which each of us is never too far removed from either our own stresses or dis-eases, or those of our friends and loved ones. As I see it, there are three ways to deal with these life issues:

Medicate the pain away(the choice of increasing numbers of people)
Dull the pain with alcohol, drugs, overeating(and other distractions)
Find ways to identify and release the pain.

As you might have guessed, I favor choice number three. Choices one and two will never rid you of the underlying problem: they are temporary fixes. Choice number three is of course the most difficult, because it requires something in ever diminishing supply: honest self-reflection- and I mean really honest self-reflection. This may mean facing it squarely and digging deeply until you find the center, or the cause of this "dis-ease." No easy task for sure, but definitely worth the effort.

Here's how I see it: if there is any sense of entitlement in this life, this is it: Everyone has the right(and I think personal obligation too) to release the energy that may be causing a particular "dis-ease;" there is no reason on earth why anyone needs to walk around being controlled by past traumatic events, no matter how horrible. Release is available to each of us, but remember that releasing or letting go of these things is a process, just like anything else. And of course, everyone needs to find the perfect vehicle that accomplishes this release.

Hope that this gives you guys some things to think about, and as always I welcome your intelligent feedback.

Don't Panic!

2008-09-30T22:08:00.003-04:00

If there was ever a time for keeping your cool, this is it.

Let's put the current changes to our financial institutions in perspective. Don't let the headlines, the hype, the sad stories in the news control you. Remember, it is the quality of your energy, your sincerity, your purposefulness, that determines whether you can achieve what you want- THIS IS TRUE IN ALL TIMES, not just the officially designated "good times."

And let's not forget all the opportunities being created now because so many people are not staying calm. Of course, as in all times, great opportunities require a leap of faith, they require going into the unknown, ands in these times especially, they require rising above the fear that permeates us. English and Japanese financial institutions have already got bargain basement prices for parts of Lehman Brothers; Chase just got an amazing deal for Washington Mutual after making much higher offers over the last several months.

And Wachovia looks like it will be taken over by Citicorp or Wells Fargo and the second bailout looks like it is going to pass as this blog post is being written.

The same opportunities are manifesting for you and me on an individual basis: the prices for certain desirable things, like houses, condos, cars, art and other goodies will be quite negotiable for awhile. If we are smart, and can deal with the uncertainty, now is the time to buy. In fact, now is the greatest time to buy the things we really want, or to start or continue on the venture of our dreams...In certain respects, there has never been a better time than NOW.

Make no mistake about it, there are massive changes going on with our bedrock financial institutions. But that is nothing new and nothing to be afraid about. These institutions were reaping the rewards of their risky behavior for quite some time, and in a sense what is happening now is inevitable: It is balancing out their previous behavior, which was tainted by lots of greed that had become normal operating procedure for many institutions. We are very fortunate indeed because safeguards that were put into place after the great depression are actually working now- and believe it or not, the government has so far been doing a great job in dealing directly and promptly with the situation.

The American economy is fundamentally healthy and sound, because over the long haul it is dependent not on the unfortunate decisions of some greedy financial institutions, but on the drive, creativity and intelligence of the American people. There is nothing that I see that leads me to believe that these characteristics of the American people have been diminished; if anything people have become more workaholics than ever before in American history, and seem eager to be connected to their jobs 24/7.

When all the restructuring is complete(and I suspect more is to come),we will be faced with newly refurbished and fortified institutions that will work smoothly until the next cycle of excess hits us(10-15 years). And when the dust settles, many of the disgraced executives today will appear almost miraculously in about a year or more(freshly scrubbed or perhaps with a little nip/tuck) as heads of some of these newly formed or consolidated groups, just like our favorite TV actors suddenly appear a couple of years later on new shows after their old shows are cancelled.

Now that we have decided that there is nothing to be afraid about in the current situation, here are some tips on how to make this time(let's say the next 12 months) the best time ever in your life:

Try to eliminate or at least cut down on verbal complaints about "the economy."
If any friends or loved ones want to vent, be compassionate and show you care- a good way to do this is to listen and just say "I understand."
Project the most positive energy into all your endeavors. By doing this you get an extra energy boost at this time because so many people are so negative in an auto-pilot way. By being so positive with your life, you will attract extra good opportunities your way because you stand out so much more.
Always keep in mind that there is an abundant amount of money "out there," that people will always need food, shelter, basic and not so basic goods and services, and that you, and not the TV or newspaper headlines control your individual economy.
Enjoy this time because it will not be repeated.

Love to hear how you are doing with all this!

Happily Ever Now

2008-08-20T23:51:00.001-04:00

We all grew up with many ideas thrust upon us, coming from family, friends, education and general life experience.

One of the most pervasive ideas that was floating around "back then" (and now too) is the notion that once certain things were achieved, and certain thresholds crossed, that one had a reasonable expectation of living "happily ever after." This idea was applied to the personal front(re marriage or finding the right person), the education front( if only I could get into the right school...) and the career front too(once I snag that job, all is well).

However true those ideas may have been(and I am not doubting that they had some validity in the 1950's...lol), the value of these ideas has been steadily eroding. I don't want to say that there is no validity left to achieving certain milestones in life, but the big difference between now and then is that now, resting on one's laurels has become the luxury of fewer and fewer people, and in some circumstances it can be downright dangerous.

This is because our society has now put its weight and full force behind the idea of constant change. That said, it becomes much more of a challenge for each of us to achieve a measure of happiness and balance in our waking moments But I definitely believe that it is not only possible, but that it has become one of the most important goals that we should seek.

I like to call this personal goal: "happily ever now." While it may sound simple, it's not always so easy to achieve amidst all the "apparent turmoil." By apparent turmoil, I mean the tumultuous nature of personal relationships these days; the volatility of the major markets(housing, stock and job). But "happily ever now" can be achieved in some surprising ways. It can be as simple as going down to the river to watch the sunset, or lingering over an especially good lunch, or not exposing yourself to so much gossip that often has a negative edge to it. It may also be achieved by throwing out the idea that tomorrow is always going to be better- it's today that we have and we better make the most of it, or it's our loss, nobody else's.

So while it's important to have long range goals that sometimes require small or great sacrifices, take some time during your day to look around and enjoy what your have right now- you might just start to feel better about everything.

What Would the Buddha Do?

2008-08-06T09:25:00.001-04:00

I recently came back to NYC from a vacation and was quite pleased to hear from a friend I haven't seen for awhile. She invited me to go join her Buddhist friends at an art museum dedicated to Tibetan art.

I had been to that museum before and thought it was great - so I ultimately agreed to go. I picked her up at her apartment in my jeep and we proceeded to the museum, which is located in lower Manhattan.

Now a little background on my friend: She considers herself to be very spiritual, which I think is generally a good thing (as compared to someone who denies that the spirit exists).

She has been to India many times, and is still a devotee of a well known Indian spiritual teacher. But she is human after all, like all of us. By her own admission, she used to be a compulsive shopper, and the last time she mentioned this problem, she indicated that it was under control.

I also know that she has been in a very volatile relationship with her boyfriend of five years, and according to her, it looks like things are going downhill. I only mention these things so you can appreciate what happened, so you can see the state of the world now through my eyes.

So we are driving in my car at about 7PM this last Friday and I am in a fine, peaceful mood, having had a really great time on this recent trip; it is a beautiful cool night and I am looking forward to meeting her new friends from the Buddhist center where she has been spending so much of her free time.

In the car, she starts telling me about this problem she is having with the local cleaner. For those not familiar with what many NYC residents do, it is quite common to send your laundry out to the local cleaners, which also doubles as a laundry facility. If the cleaners are good, they will pick up and deliver your laundry too. She was telling me how upset she was at her cleaners, because not only had they stopped picking up and delivering, but they had lost a chenille bathrobe of hers AND, to add insult to injury, claimed she still owed them about $43.00 too.

I could completely understand this, since something similar had happened to me several years ago; so I just switched cleaners at the time: Now I sometimes do my own laundry in the laundry room located in the basement of my apartment building.. I suggested this to her, first asking her if there were any other cleaners nearby that she could use.

She claimed that there weren't, and that the closest one was six blocks away, which would necessitate buying a shopping cart(that she didn't have room for). I then asked her if it was possible for her to do the laundry in her apartment building. She abruptly replied: "I'm not going to do my own laundry." It seemed that she was unsatisfied with this suggestion too.

I then turned to her and asked: "What would the Buddha do?" I wish you all could have been in that car, because you would think that I had initiated some type of torture to her by her response. I won't repeat here the things that she said, but suffice it to say that she wasn't pleased by my observation.

As you go through the moments of your life each day and you observe others' behavior as well as your own, it sometimes helps put things in perspective to ask "What would the Buddha do?"

Working with What's Available

2008-07-25T19:45:00.001-04:00

It's very easy to bemoan all the things we don't have right now, but how many of us are able to creatively use everything that is right around us, and to do it with good humor?

It's a real skill to be able to recognize all the good fortune and opportunities right before our eyes, and then to be able to do something with it. It takes presence, which is to say it's a skill that is enhanced by not being constantly distracted. Since so many of us are constantly moving(where I am not so sure), it's become a huge challenge to even be still enough to see and really appreciate what we have now, let alone to maximize those opportunities.

But I guarantee each of you that if you can slow down long enough to really, really see what is right in front of you, the key to your own financial riches and freedom is right here, right now. After you have slowed down, you might want to take a few steps back to observe what's there.

For example, if you are witnessing the decline of the stock market right in front of your eyes, and if you have traditionally been a stock investor, take a break from insisting that your financial future is inextricably linked to continuing the same pattern. Stop for a few minutes, think and open your mind: You may sense a volatile situation, and you may sense that change is in the wind. Good, you are getting close to seeing what is right before your eyes. Now take a small leap and look around at the economy in which you are living, and try and appreciate the world economy as well. Contrary to some of the messages you are being barraged with by the media, our economy is not tanking, it is not sinking. Is it changing? Absolutely.

Don't forget the following fun fact, which I think is unassailably true. Wherever living people exist in large numbers(such as the United States), they will have not just basic needs to be met (like food, shelter, work, medical care), but they will also have many other opportunities to spend money for discretionary items. What I am trying to point out to you is that in every environment, and with every change, there are always opportunities to make money right now.

Back to our stock market example: if you are dissatisfied with the way things are going, explore your options: It doesn't take a genius to realize that energy is a big issue now and for some years to come. It should also be obvious that many people are slow to change their habits (in other words, addictions of all kinds die hard and slow). Use that knowledge right now to counter the beating you are taking in stocks-invest in something that everyone still needs (I hope you know what I mean).

Don't like the low value of the dollar when it's drummed into your head on the nightly news? Try and benefit by getting involved in an export based industry; if you are in a slowing real estate region, try and appeal to foreigners who now view the US as a bargain basement.

So I guess what I am saying is: wherever you are, whatever you do, no matter what they tell you on the evening news, there are always opportunities. Observe carefully what's around, make your move, and enjoy the results fully.

Catch and Release

2008-07-08T10:08:00.003-04:00

We're going to talk about one of the most difficult things that a human can learn to do - and it is so essential to both our financial and personal well being - that I can't stress it enough.

It's all about learning to let go - after we've gotten exactly what we want. Not sure if this qualifies as good news or bad, but it is definitely news. That's because almost none of us is raised with this information/awareness; quite the contrary in fact.

Traditional conditioning may encompass the pursuit of what we want(usually in a convoluted way), but it almost never considers what to do when we have obtained those goals. And by the way, I am not suggesting that we have to let go of what we have achieved immediately after we get it - that would be some cruel joke wouldn't it?

What I am saying is that at some point after we obtain what or who we want in our lives, there may come a time when it is appropriate to let go; and it is good to be attuned to this. In Monergy, I have a chapter that addresses this issue on the financial realm and I call it "Watching for Signs/Cycling Out". The goal of that chapter is to illustrate how people often hang on to good financial opportunities or investments too long, because they are greedy or want to suck every last dollar out of something; as a result they can get clobbered when a market turns - and free markets (whether stocks or real estate) can turn quickly these days and be very cruel.

So when you look at all the people who hang on to something or somebody way after the expiration date has arrived (think we have all been there!); just take a moment to appreciate the disastrous results that follow. Of course, "hanging on" rather than "letting go" is reinforced by just about everything in society. And it is all based upon fear - fear that you can never replace that opportunity, fear that you will never be with such a great person again.

What often accompanies the mentality of "holding on" is an almost complete lack of gratitude. How many people do you know who are grateful for the great opportunities that have come there way, knowing that everything has a cycle of beginning, middle and end? You can become one of those grateful people by simply giving constant thanks for all the wonderful people and things in your life - and by learning to let go graciously when the time is right.

All the best boys and girls.

Energy Tracks

2008-06-25T13:44:00.001-04:00

Which Track Are You Playing Today?

When you wake up in the morning, you have a huge choice: what track you going to play? If it's a Monday and you are less than thrilled with your job, chances are that the track you will be playing is the "Monday Blues." Think about this for a minute, think about the way you feel when you pop that track into your consciousness.

Even if you are new to "energy awareness," you have to admit that if you find yourself in that position playing the "Monday Blues" - that energy, those feelings are palpable and have a certain texture and resonance to them - and if you compare those feelings and that energy to something that obviously gives you pleasure - let's say the expectations you have when you are just about to go out on a date with someone you really like, or the feelings, sensory awareness and energy when you are just about to chow down on some great barbecue or other favorite food...well you have to admit there is a marked difference.

So the challenge for all of us then becomes to be able to regulate, with our free will, the energy tracks that we want playing in our mind, in our consciousness; because whether we like it or not, those energy tracks are going to control, in one way or another, the actual experiences that we have.

Before we can really begin to do this, we must start becoming more aware of what kind of energy is dominating us at any particular time: Start to make associations that feel right for you and make sense, start to see what may trigger various energy tracks and then we can work on doing something to replace unwanted tracks.

When it comes to our personal finances(as well as our personal life) these energy tracks are absolutely critical. Let me set out a simple example of how this works. Think of the energy tracks that we find ourselves in during a typical day. For argument's sake, let's brake down this energy as follows:

A. Autopilot energy - Dominated by same old-same old behavior, often filled with lots of chatter, gossip and complaining. We are all familiar with this track.

B. Open to some chances - We begin to look around at our environment and see it with some freshness - we realize that there are ways that exist now that can actually change things and move forward.

C. Taking some chances - We actually put our toe in the water, or we leap in and make a big splash (your choice), we start the process of change.

D. Reflection on change - We see or feel some movement from our taking chances - In this energy track, we see or feel the tiniest bit of results from our efforts; we often marvel at this and ask ourselves: "Did I do that?"

In the coming days, experiment with the different "energy tracks" playing in your head, and see how they affect your actual experience. Begin to take chances; you are alive so make every moment count!

Monergy Launches on YouTube....

2008-06-11T21:06:00.001-04:00

You can also view the video on YouTube.

What is Monergy?
It is the energy surrounding money. It is the energy created when we pursue and spend money.

We all know that energy is created by our thoughts, beliefs and actions. And that our energy is constantly merging with others' energy in the money making process.

Monergy shows the clear link- the relationship - between the type of energy we expend in the money making process and the quality of the end results.

Associate/Disassociate

2008-06-11T20:58:00.002-04:00

What if you picked up all kinds of energy from the people around you, and what if that absorption (which it really is) was inevitable to a certain extent?

Let's assume for argument's sake that this is a true dynamic. How would that alter the people that you choose to get close to? I recently heard about a study that showed that we become as happy or as unhappy as the five closest people to us in our lives. I believe these results, because they make sense. It's all about the absorption factor, and the thing that we absorb is other people's energies.

I think that becoming aware of the pervasive mutability of energy, either in relation to your monetary life, or even your personal life, is critical to leading a truly successful life. Because let's face it boys and girls, what good is all the money in the world without the best people you can find close to you to share it all with?

I heard of another study that showed the frequency of AIDS, a "dis-ease," was higher in communities with greater concentrations of gay people. I'm not talking about greater numbers of people, I'm talking about greater percentage of gay people who acquired the "dis-ease" in communities that were "more gay."

This is a fascinating study, because it suggests that "dis-ease," like almost anything else is "in the air." The thing that is "in the air" is hard to define, maybe it's more fear, more focus on the possibilities of the disease, who knows.

I'm not suggesting that there are no empirical causes for all kinds of "dis-eases." What I am suggesting, and certainly open to your feedback, is that there is an as of yet unexplored but potentially huge component to "dis-ease" that is all about the energy we absorb.

To whatever extent that this is true, it opens up a huge opportunity for each of us. Because if each of us plays a role in the development of any "dis-ease," by virtue of the energy we are around, we can also use our free will to prevent or reverse that process by modifying our associations. There is some scientific or empirical evidence for this too: I'm sure each of us feels differently when around different people; there are people who are a joy to simply be around and there are people who "drain us" so that we can feel it.

What each of us is reacting to with that different person is their energy-that's what we are feeling, and it can give us a boost or it can "bring us down." Scientists have confirmed this by already identifying that a strong immune system is essential to excellent health. It is not a huge stretch for us to realize that people or experiences that heavily tax our immune system are not going to promote great health.

I ask all of you to experiment with these concepts and let me know what you find. All this also raises a really fascinating question: With the right consciousness, is all "dis-ease" avoidable?

Increasing Daily Consciousness

2008-05-11T20:27:00.002-04:00

The truth is...

Anyone's guess, or whatever you happen to absorb in any given moment. Finding the truth in any situation has never been an easy task. And anyway, one person's truth is not necessarily the same for someone else.

That said, there must be some absolute truths we can hang our hat on. I was reminded of how difficult it is to "find the truth" in daily life by a conversation I recently had with some people.

The topic started out on some current events, with one person voicing her opinion on the state of the economy. She recounted some news stories she had watched on television that showed how certain factories were closing and that joblessness was up.

She also pointed out that many people were in danger of losing their homes because "foreclosures were up too." I don't deny that she was probably accurate in her recounting those particular news stories, since those messages have been beamed at us quite frequently in recent months. But I'm not sure how I should respond when I hear this message again and again.

Here's how I did respond: I pointed out that while certain jobs are being invariably lost to other countries, particularly manufacturing, the overall jobless rate has been much higher than it is now. She seemed surprised by that fact, and another person with us chimed in: But the actual numbers of jobless are greater now because there are more people in the country!

Quite an amazing response to what I said. Interesting to observe the stake that so many people have in believing and holding on to the messages they receive from the media.

The "foreclosure message" is an interesting one too. I recently read three different articles about the same South Florida real estate market: One article suggested that it was never a better time to buy because prices and interest rates were favorable, a second article cautioned buyers that if they thought that they could buy properties at fifty (50) cents on the dollar, they were sadly mistaken, a third article reported on a specific bank auction of properties that were unsold for at least three months in which the purchase price, subject to probable bank approval, was about thirty-five (35%)per cent of the properties' 2005 market value.

So what are the actual facts? As mentioned above, it could be as simple as chance: what is your source of information and how much value do you give to it?

I heard another interesting comment on the radio just yesterday. Two talk show hosts were chatting about a female Harry Potter star who earned multiple millions by the age of eighteen. The overall sentiment of these hosts was that this young girl was "set for life" as a result of the money she made. I thought to myself: If it was only that simple...

Amazing how people think that their happiness is solely linked to finances. This comment may come as a shock to some of you reading this blog to improve your finances, but it shouldn't: There are certain things that are facilitated by having money, and I am all in favor of people enjoying those things to the max.

That said, a fulfilling life requires a balance of many factors, and this blog is going to address some of those other factors too.

Given all the information out there, one thing is clear to me: There has never been a better time than now to spend money for the things you want and need. I know there are lots to absorb these days, and I hope I am adding to the clarity rather than the overload.

Have fun and enjoy yourselves.

Personal Growth Plan

2008-04-09T23:19:00.002-04:00

Project Yourself- Part 2

Thank you for your patience in waiting for this blog post. I know that I asked you guys awhile ago to think about how to undo the parts of your conditioning that you either don't like or find useful. A lifetime task indeed!

Assuming you have done some exploration of this issue, I'd like to add a little more to the mix now, just to make things interesting. I want to talk about what you can do when you have some handle on who you really are and what you really want to do with the moments of your life. Because let's face it: if we are not doing what we really want with the precious moments of our life, what have we really got?

In talking about "projecting yourself" into your life, I want to say a few things about "free will." Those of you who have read various books on "free will" know that there is an age old battle on exactly how extensive our free will really is. Is it absolute, as some claim, or is everything we do predestined, especially when seen in 'retrospect? I think it's fair to say that everything that has happened should have happened, but that doesn't mean that our free will could not have been used to alter events. It could have, it's just that we didn't choose to exercise it in that moment. That said, I believe that we have free will, but most of us are unfamiliar with this energy and/or sometimes reluctant to use it. I think that our free will exists within the framework of who we are, where we were born, what our life experiences were, where we went to school, or work, our talents, likes/dislikes etc. In the my book "Monergy," I have a name for all these different factors: I call it the "energy sphere of influence."

When we use our free will efficiently, we act in furtherance of our energy sphere, and we help fulfill what might be construed as our destiny. I believe that free will is very powerful, but it is not absolute; it operates best in certain contexts, you could also say it is situational.

To experiment with free will, here's a little exercise you can do every morning as part of your mediations (assuming you meditate): spend a few moments infusing your entire being with health, vitality, love, peace of mind and whatever goal you want to achieve for that day; then extend those same wishes to the people you care about. This is an excellent use of your free will. Try this for a few days and see if you feel differently.

Free will is an energy you must become comfortable with and use wisely. I think it was Stevie Wonder who said in one of his songs: "You can get everything you want, but not want everything you get."

Achieve Personal Development

2008-03-25T18:11:00.004-04:00

The switch

There's always that dividing line, that sweet spot, between what we are striving for in our lives and the actual thing occurring. I like to call the mechanism that controls this "the switch."

I think you guys know what I mean especially when it applies to our personal lives: One minute we are feeling one way about a particular person or situation, and the next minute are thoughts can be in a completely different direction. Something has shifted in our perceptions, our consciousness; most of the time we don't know why or how that subtle shift in energy occurs, but one thing is for sure: when "the switch" occurs we know it.

So let's examine "the switch" a little, especially when it comes to our personal finances, and let's see if by increasing our consciousness, we can exert a little more control on the events that can change our financial situation.

There is no doubt that real change is slow, is a process and takes enormous patience. If you are one of those people that think you can change your financial life in a nanosecond, you are wasting your time reading this, so stop now. But if you are willing to put in the ground work you need to increase your chances of financial growth, then stay with me.

Here are some things I think you should do to increase your odds for "the switch" to occur: Realize first that what we are talking about here is a more conscious form of energy, that's all it is (of course, that's easy to say and it is the whole point here to become acquainted with new and more effective energy). It is your energy that has prevented you from achieving what you want, and it is by a sustained change to your energy that you will get exactly what you need and want. So here goes.

Be sincere in your efforts. You may think that your efforts have been sincere, but it could be your sincerity has been quite self-centered, so by sincerity I do not necessarily mean just being sincere in your money making pursuits, I mean being sincere in all your efforts in life. This type of energy can open up all kinds of opportunities that were previously unavailable to you. Another thing you can do is to stop doing things for others' approval-I like to call this: stop playing for an audience.

It's amazing how we are conditioned to seek the approval of all kinds of people; for real change to occur you have to narrowly focus your energy so that is more genuine, more pure - all this helps "the switch" to occur. Most important too for "the switch" to occur is become comfortable with change. For those most risk adverse, start small: go to your favorite restaurant and sit in an entirely new part, be bold and order something you have never had. Experience change on a regular basis.

Another thing to do to help "the switch" occur is to work with what you have right now. It's human nature to dreamily think about the way you think things "should be," but here's a shocker: Things are exactly the way they should be right now for each of us. Accept this reality and don't complain about it-this can free an unbelievable amount of the type of energy you need to reach your goal.

As usual, hope you guys enjoy this post and love your feedback.

Personal Growth Choices

2008-03-02T08:32:00.004-05:00

Project yourself Part I

Projecting is a concept you may want to familiarize yourself with when you decide to really change your life, especially your finances.

Before you can project anything, you need to take a good, hard, honest look at yourself. This is not the type of examination that takes five minutes, like checking your body for mosquito bites. This type of examination has, in fact, no time limits; though you will intuitively know when the process is complete. A word of advice here: don't try to rush it.

So what is the nature of this examination? It's almost like engaging in a form of psychic self-surgery. You first have to figure out the factors in your life that have prevented you from getting close to your financial goals, then you can start to fix things. Look at your upbringing, family values and conditioning about money; those are good places to start.

When I went through this process myself, I found that when I really honestly looked at things my mother didn't care that much about money, my father tended to be a little cheap, and both my parents were prone to spend everything they made. However, both my parents also instilled in me that I could do anything I wanted in life.

These things are quite useful to realize; they give us a keen insight into the type of conditioning we were subjected to and provide a great starting off point for some things we may want to change about ourselves.

In my own case, I decided that I didn't want to be cheap and did not want to live above my means, so I decided to discard these things; but I liked having the belief that I could do anything in life, so I kept that. Failing to be honest at this point can really sabotage any change, so please try and stay the course.

Our past conditioning will control us until we first understand it, then we can let it go. Have you ever noticed that some people in life are struggling with the idea that they are stupid, or not good enough, or not deserving of life's riches, or they should always play it safe? Do you know where they got these ideas from? More likely than not, they grew up in an environment where they were constantly told (by parents, teachers or other authority figures) that that they were stupid, not good enough, not deserving of life's riches, or never to risk anything.

And more likely than not, these messages were projected onto them again and again until they could not distinguish between those ideas (of unworthiness or safety) and themselves. In other words, these people became stupid, not good enough, not deserving of life's riche, and risk adverse because of what was projected onto them, not because of any inherent qualities in themselves.

When we can realize that our fundamental ideas about ourselves are very much(if not totally)created by what was projected onto ourselves while growing up, we are almost at the end of part one of this process. And by the way, it is important to not cast any blame on anyone who was "kind enough" to have projected these things onto you: Remember that no one has a perfect conditioning growing up, everyone has challenges to overcome. Also, these so called authority figures doing the projecting onto us were no more than unconscious beings placed in our life to help us learn and grow. Again, everyone has these people interspersed in their lives.

Want you guys to absorb this for a little while; will talk soon about how to project what you want for yourself into the future.

Achieve Personal Growth...

2008-02-17T13:26:00.006-05:00

Satisfaction Guaranteed
Thought that might get your attention. I admit I'm being a little mischievous here, because as we all know, satisfaction is never guaranteed. But if we are looking for satisfaction in our lives, there's got to be some ways to increase the odds of finding it, and once found, holding on to it.

You're in luck boys and girls, because there are definite things we can do each day to help bring more of that good old satisfaction into our lives. The first thing we can do is to not look for it.

This may seem a strange thing to suggest, but it's a good first step toward getting what you want. This means to go about the normal, everyday routine of your life with as much sincerity, goodwill and positive energy as you can muster. By not focusing so much on what you are going to get from every situation, you increase the odds of getting exactly what you need and want.

For myself, I marvel how satisfaction can just creep up on me when I least expect it, and it comes as quite a surprise; that's because I wasn't looking for it. The next thing we can do is to forget our self for awhile, try and lose yourself completely in whatever activity you embark on. By doing this, you demonstrate the faith you have that what you are doing is enough for the moment.

Since we are so conditioned to think about our self and our needs all the time, it's a wonderful experiment to give that internal dialogue a rest, and see what happens. Which brings me appropriately to the next point, which is to try and be present in exactly what you are doing. This is quite the challenge these days, since there are so many distractions that seem to be pulling us away from the moment. And with all the activities and responsibilities that each of us seems so keen to have, it's even more difficult.

Just try and have lunch with someone and see how many times that experience is interrupted by phone calls and text messages. Try shutting off these devices for small periods of time and see how you feel. The next thing we can do every day is to stop worrying about anything. This seems so simple but for most people it is almost impossible, given the pressures our fast paced society cause us to internalize. Worrying can be a huge impediment to any kind of real satisfaction. A daily practice of meditation for about fifteen or twenty minutes in the morning and evening really helps, and is well worth the time spent.

The next thing we might want to consider is our notion of security. Here again, we are so conditioned to think of security as being in the future. This type of thinking can really interfere in our being satisfied, because our mind gets locked into thinking.......If only X happens, then I can be secure. To counteract a life time of this, start to think of security as available now, not something you have to wait for.

Hope everyone out there is doing well, and spreading the love for Valentine's Day. As usual, I really appreciate and love the comments the blog has been getting.

Living with Volatility

2008-01-30T18:18:00.000-05:00

Is the economy going up or down, sideways or clockwise? It's anyone's guess. But the more interesting question is do we create our "own economy" or do we let other people's ideas of how the economy is going influence us.

Listening to all the candidates running for president and seeing how quickly the Federal Reserve reacted to a perceived weakness in world markets this week, the dreaded "R" word (Recession) is uppermost on many people's minds, especially those politicians.

According to these so called experts, a recession is something to be avoided and automatically brings bad things for almost everyone. And if you follow this logic, each of us has no say whether to participate in this scenario; it's another life situation seemingly beyond our control.

But is recession necessarily a bad thing? As in every situation in life, there are winners and losers, advantages and disadvantages at every phase. When you look at what changes a "recession" may bring, some of them are not so bad at all. For instance, some people tend to have a little less work (others more), and those with less work can actually, if they let themselves, relax a little and take a breath. Maybe spend some more time with the family, investigate that new project or business they had no time for before, etc. Lower interest rates have some benefits too: reduced monthly credit card bills and in some cases mortgages.

American politicians continue to treat the electorate in an infantile manner, because they reinforce the deluded stereotype that if people can't go out and shop for more crap, the world is going to cave in! I hope that there will come a time soon when these politicos, some of whom are quite smart, will stop with this knee jerk reaction and stop playing on people's worst fears about their future. I have never heard one politician speak the truth on this matter, which might run something like this: There are natural cycles in everything, relationships, jobs and the economy. Just like anything, "prosperity" can't last forever, no matter how much you try. Rather than try and fight the natural cycles, or try and fight an inevitable change, as the Fed did by lowering interest rates again this week, let's embrace change; let's try and look for the good in it, and let's actually try and profit by it.

And remember, change need not be the enemy in our lives; fear is the real monster that needs to be constantly slayed.

Apocalypse Now...or Never?

2008-01-18T15:01:00.000-05:00

It's the New Year so a little introspection is in order; new priorities need to be set. Can't help but noticing that the gym has never been more crowded; lots of faces I've never seen before. Can almost bet that in a month from now most of these people will be gone....

Last year seemed to mark some kind of a watershed, at least for me. I can't remember a time when the media has bombarded us with more negativity, more potential calamities, more inducements to be afraid (as if we didn't have enough things to worry about). At the same time, the media wants us to be more concerned with celebrities and their inevitable meltdowns. And so many people buy into this. It's amazing how people talk about celebrities on a first name basis, as if these people are really their friends! Sounds like bread and circuses to me folks; disempower enough people and they won't take charge of their lives, they will continue to buy things they don't need and complain about the things they can't afford!

In this playing field, it is more of a challenge to remain centered and to pursue our personal and professional goals, more of a challenge to be grateful for every bit of happiness every day, more of a challenge to be rich in every way.

The question I have been pondering though, is should we give any weight to those people who seem hell bent on convincing us the world is going to hell? What about those melting polar ice caps???? I've never responded well to fear, it goes against my grain. I'll never be one of those guys riding his bicycle in Central Park with a plastic helmet; factoring out all risk is not only impossible but not desirable. I don't know about those melting polar ice caps, but I do know this: Next time I get some take out from anywhere: the pizza place or the local Japanese restaurant, I can tell the guys to spare me the excess plastic, don't wrap the food as if I'm going to Mars, and don't throw in lots of stuff I don't need or want.

As our consciousness grows on a daily basis, we each have a responsibility to filter out more of the garbage thrown at us. This is no easy task, since without direct experience it is almost impossible to verify the truthfulness of much of the information out there. At the same time, we live in this world, and are sometimes seduced by the shininess of the nifty material goods now being produced. For me, the challenge is not to go back, not to romanticize the "good old days," (they weren't that great anyway), but to embrace the problems and opportunities we have RIGHT NOW. And to do it with a sincere heart and all the love we can muster. As we embark on all those new ventures in 2008, I say this: Savor Small Steps.

Monergize Your Life

2008-01-09T13:38:00.000-05:00

I want to inaugurate this blog with some general comments about how I would like to see this thing, this BLOG evolve.

Let me be perfectly clear from the outset; this is a new experience for me. I don't mean I have never read or contributed to a blog, but I can't say I spend a great deal of my day in front of a screen or under florescent lights solving other people's problems (those were my lawyer days long ago). And I should also confess that I am a little leery about the transparency of it all. Even that term is new for me, and is a little scary. You see, I am a very private person and like to do things under the radar. At the same time, I feel that I am meant to share the ideas of MONERGY with as many people as possible. I want this to be a blog where all kinds of ideas about money and life can be freely expressed and where exciting things can launch . So I make this request at the outset: Go easy and try to respect everyone's opinion and privacy.

The raison d'etre for this blog is of course my book "MONERGY-Discover the Ultimate Energy of Money." This book represents many things to me, but first and foremost it signifies freedom; freedom to use my precious time on this planet wisely and in joyous situations. Of course, freedom is a very tricky thing and means different things to different people. For me though, freedom translates to being in beautiful places with people I cherish. No longer do I have to spend 9-5 around the toxic energy of people who are not enjoying where they are at that moment. In a way, I have flipped my life from what is considered common or the norm today. I have recreated my life to spend most of my time doing the unthinkable for a male in the year 2008: simply enjoying all of the blessings that I have. And however that translates on a particular day is fine with me. And no explanations are necessary to anyone else, thank you very much.

I have to credit a very good friend of mine for part of my philosophy; she knows who she is without me mentioning any names. I will say that she and I shared some memorable experiences living and traveling in Europe when we were both 19 years old; she is still a close friend today. About 15 years ago she told me the story of one of her friends who was from Zurich. He was a guy in his late twenties who opened a very specialized car repair shop for cars like Maseratis and Ferraris. He opened the shop with a very particular goal: he would work for six months and travel for six months, and he achieved this goal because he was so skilled at the work he did. When I first heard this story, I was awestruck and a little envious: at that time I was ensconced in the very joyless practice of law in New York City. But I often thought of that Swiss guy as I was devising a process to recreate my own life.

I can only hope that MONERGY can inspire some of you to start pursuing your deepest dreams, whatever they are. And as you embark on this very exciting journey which perhaps, if I am lucky, I can share with you, I can only say: LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!!!