We have learned many things in the process of growing up: walking, talking, riding a bike, biology, mathematics, social studies, and the list goes on and on.

But one of the most important things that we could ever learn, that is, to just be and keenly watch and observe the people and things around us, has rarely been taught in any traditional educational institution. It is ironic too, because with all the people walking around with their fancy degrees from fancy institutions, almost no one is taught what is arguably the most important skill that one can have; to be still and watch without being reactive.

And we human beings are the worse off for this too. It doesn't take much to see how so much of what we do is purely reactive, and does not come from a calm or centered place. Much of our behavior is designed to defend our deluded notion of who we are, which for most people is ego pure and simple. If there is any thread that winds through the best of new age philosophy it is this: without being able to just observe in a non-reactive way, a human being is basically lost, and stuck at a very low level of awareness and consciousness.

Yet not only is this skill not cultivated in most, if not all, of our best educational institutions, but it is rarely acknowledged as even existing!

If you take a really close look at the animals in your house or in your environment, you will immediately notice how keenly aware most animals are in comparison to most human beings, who often appear asleep when they are supposedly awake.

I will never forget what happened one weekend when I babysat my friend's chocolate lab puppy named "brownie." We took a walk to the east river and sat on a bench, but there was a man on a bench ten feet away that immediately captured that puppy's attention. This sweet little puppy who had been so meek and quiet the entire prior day I had him was beside himself barking at this man sitting on a bench ten feet away. What did this puppy pick up that was so dangerous? I will tell you: The man on the other bench was someone I had seen before living on the street, and was probably a crack addict. This puppy sensed something wrong about this guy immediately, without having the knowledge I had about him; it was truly amazing to watch.

When we as humans become more aware, we can sense things immediately too without having to have any actual knowledge- this is the beauty of consciousness. Try it and see.
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Acceptance is such a simple word-but is something many people find difficult to put into practice. It is especially useful to be more aware of this as the holiday season engulfs us, because we often find ourselves thrown in with people from our past, and that can get dicey.

A few years back I heard of this rule that somebody was living by, and I was very intrigued. This person made it a practice to never talk about something that happened more than two weeks ago- that was the limit. The goal was to steer each conversation into the present , and the immediate future, as much as possible. I have tried to do the same thing since I heard about this. I have succeeded for the most part, but there are times when somebody else insists on talking about something that occurred years ago. When that happens, I try to bring things back to the present by saying "that happened too long ago," or, "I can't see where that is relevant to this situation," or if that doesn't work, I might say, "I am really not comfortable talking about this."

If I am insistent and graceful enough, I can usually steer things back to the present by one of the above methods, but not always. And the more I practice doing this the better I get. I like to think that by making more of an effort to be in the present. I am more accepting of whatever occurred in the past. After all, I am reminded that whatever occurred in the past, I am powerless to change it. The only real choice, other than constant churning, is acceptance.

My increasing acceptance of the past has not only rooted me more in the present, but has given me more faith in the future too. Since I am less prone to invest anything that occurs with too much energy, I find increasing clarity about the future. As a result, my immediate choices seem more effortless, and things often have a synchronicity about them that is uncanny. I have also observed that if things don't go "my way," whatever that really is, it is no big deal: I can let it go much quicker than before, and other, even more appealing options, rapidly appear .

I can honestly not say enough good things about accepting what is immediately available to me in my life. What has been your experience with this?
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I thought this an appropriate topic for a blog post since we are already in the holiday season, with Thanksgiving recently passed.

It is still a time when much is changing for many of us, and change remains a double edged sword: on one hand it can usher in new and exciting opportunities; on the other hand it sometimes involves the loss of things we like and have grown accustomed to, thus generating fear.

One thing is for certain in this holiday season, or in any other season for that matter: we all have so much to give thanks for. It doesn't matter if we are rich or poor, old or young, challenged with any number of issues. It is a privilege to be human and alive on this planet. Whenever our so-called problems weigh us down, we need only pause a few minutes -or longer- to realize the truth of this.

I recently read a novel that took place in the period prior to, during, and after WWI in Germany. It was about a girl orphaned at a very young age in Berlin, how she was passed from foster home to orphanage, to living on her own, all at very tender ages with absolutely no support system. The things she needed to do to survive were pretty amazing, even by today's standards. And the backdrop of the story was the deteriorating political system in Germany after WWI, where hyper-inflation just about wiped out the middle class and created perpetual hunger for many, where cardboard shoes were the fashion of the moment.

What was really interesting about the story, besides the plight of this young woman thrust into unbelievably uncertain times, was the character of not just her but her friends: they were too busy surviving to complain about anything. And of course, none of these characters had retirement funds or owned homes that had diminished in value; those were things way beyond the scope of their reasonable expectations.

What can we learn from a novel like this? We are an incredibly lucky group of people living in the United States at this moment, even with the economic gyrations taking place around us. And we have many, many, reasons to give thanks.

And we have many, many, reasons to give thanks.

Happy holidays everyone.
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I have been aware for quite some time that the pressure to hurry through every activity is overwhelming today. This "hurry up" attitude puts an extra layer of stress onto everything and everybody; it permeates all parts of society.

It should be obvious that this pressure to hurry has been increased due to the internet, text messages, emails, and the increased speed of just about every form of communication, except for traditional United States Mail. It is so easy to go on the internet at home or on our phones, delete an email in a second, or click through purchases - or people- we don't find particularly attractive. I have been watching how this attitude affects our relationships, and everything else that we do.

In the distant past - that's about ten years ago these days - I rushed through things I labeled as unpleasant, or bad. I would definitely put final exams in law school in that category, or some visits to the dentist, or certain social obligations with people I wasn't all that fond of.

All that has changed today. When I started to observe the things I was rushing through, I noticed there were almost no exceptions. I observed I was less likely to rush when the activity did not involve another person; I had more control over the time spent. I decided to stop hurrying, and start enjoying the moments of almost every activity. Here are some things you can do to slow down, and not hurry through everything:

1. Take a few breaths and relax. Look around and appreciate what you have right now. If you can, watch an animal go through any activity and just observe.
2. Write down six things missing in your life you think you need to be happy.
3. For each thing missing, try and write a few sentences on why you need it.
4. If you can't explain why you need any one thing, cross it off your list; you will probably be left with two or three items.
5. Consider that though these items may still be important, you might be deluding yourself; once you achieve these items a whole new set of "needs" will surface.
6. Realize that even if those remaining items are important to your happiness, there is no reason to sacrifice your present happiness or peace of mind to achieve them.
7. Give yourself permission to just slow down and enjoy your life. It is as simple as that.

Try these steps if you like, and see if you can't savor more of your present moments
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